Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
