She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
