Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
