ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
