Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
