Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
