...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
