Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
