Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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