That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
