like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
