There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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