the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
