Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
