whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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