So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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