Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
