The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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