The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
