I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
