Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
