So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I need moral support for this bender
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
