Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
