dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
