Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
vagina is talking i cant
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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