you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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