dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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