I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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