No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
