why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
