ya dads aren't the best wingmen
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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