I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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