i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
