shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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