It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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