Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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