Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
