i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
