Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
