Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
