im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
