i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
