Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
