I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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