small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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