I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
