You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
