Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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