Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
