We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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