Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
