after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
A+ Viking dick
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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