But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
time to smoke my breakfast
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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